Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
