ugly people sure do ruin things
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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