What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
