sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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