Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
