the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
