Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
