Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I am naked and annoyed.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He has the fingertips of a God
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
