he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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