The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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