Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm sobbing to NWA
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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