their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
