I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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