Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
