Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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