I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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