my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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