everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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