I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
