Small penises have feelings too.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
