census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize