bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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