Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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