I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
