That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You can't special order awesome
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
