She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
