very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
