are you still at the devil's house?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We left an ass print on the piano.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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