Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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