i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
