my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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