How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
