I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
