I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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