I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
