He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
