just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
