i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
