so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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