Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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