Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
