I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
