i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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