We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
