i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
COCAINE IS GR8
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
