Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
