so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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