i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
