is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
