yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
