My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
